My life was perfect. Somehow i have this ability where i don't have to do much preparation and get decent grades.
its amazing and yes life is not fair.
i don't always get 100, (i suppose god doesn't love me that much) but my grades are acceptable and quite pleasant to the eyes.
As you know thing changes as time passes by (damnit), the old fashioned, mundane way of getting what i want no longer seems to work.
I felt lost for the very first time. It hurts as much as losing a friend, yet different.
Losing a friend or my loved ones (i don't mean literally losing a friend) drag me into a lot of pain, still i know that there are more for me to love, and more who love me. I feel secure in a sense.
My plans, prediction, judgements going way out of hands; not knowing what would happen next is awful, absolutely terrifying.
As if i was locked in a dark room; in coming barks of dogs somewhere, living up with the unknown surrounding me.
It is a fresh experience indeed, also a hellish one to be exact.
I don't like to be the one who is wrong. I always like to be right. Yes i am aggressive at point, it is just me.
I was born with THE knowledge, i know what is going to happen; i know how to make this work, do this and that.
I have The understanding of things, i don't know how i know it, i just do. It is so called common sense i guess.
It feels weird and wrong when i am right without having to read from a book or the internet. I feel sorry for people who got it wrong, it is not fair since i just know it somehow in my head. It seems simple to me, yet to them it is different.
Things are getting outta my hands, thats what i know. Thats probly the only thing i know.
Now that life has changed, i suppose i needa start reading off books and internet and newspaper or how to do lists.
um....exactly where do i start? i always have it on top of my head naturally, now i gotta make things go in my head?
thats like having the perfect nose, and due to an accident, an artificial nose is needed. How does one appreciate one self when a certain things is put on him or her deliberately?
Being exquisite is hard, i don't want to be exquisite i just need things to go back the way they are!! like now!
being loved by the teachers,
getting decent grades without trying that hard *i do try just that i need less time than people, sorry
arghhhh im going crazy here
i usually get what i want, now i don't
how do i live with that???
i am not even asking for materialistic things
i just want my lil ability back.
and one thing i learned, i don't needa please people as much when they are being an ass.
They decided to be a hater, fine go ahead, your life will be in pain when you have hatred
plus yay me, you hate me? awesome i have a place in your heart.
